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| Photo by pixabay.com |
A little while ago I talked all about my gripes with the airplane. But, most people, unless you're Justin Bieber or someone, rarely are on planes and therefore can handle the crappy food and general discomfort for a short amount of time . The bus, on the other hand, is a mode of transportation that I am all too familiar with, because I take two buses to get to and from school. This means I spend about two hours a day dealing with public transportation. And for someone who doesn't particularly enjoy being engulfed in the body odour of strangers, this isn't exactly a walk in the park.
Let me clarify for those lucky souls who have never been on a bus before. If you are one of the passengers with the misfortune of having to stand during the ride, I assure you that you had better be ready to hold on for dear life. Every turn and lane change has you enacting some serious pole dancing moves to remain upright. There is no way that you can stand without leaning on or holding onto anything. So don't try it. Don't be a hero.
While it's obvious that standing on the bus isn't a good time, sometimes sitting isn't a blast either. When I have no one sitting beside me, I'm so content. I've got my headphones in, jamming to Lana and enjoying my personal space. Once someone sits down, that all changes. Most of the time, a normal person sits beside me, and I'm cool with that. But once in a while, you get that smelly, personal bubble-bursting, possibly psychotic person who plops themselves down right next to you.
This leads me to two requirements I would enact if I was the owner of a bus company (and just for the record, I have no plans to become one, although I'm sure I'd do amazing):
1. The Shower Policy: If one has not showered in many a day, or has a strong musk that follows 20 feet behind them, they are not welcome on Christina Bus Routes.
2. Christina Bus Routes reserves the right to request a Breathalyzer test of any passenger they deem necessary.
The second one is totally not a joke. The other day a guy stumbled on the bus, bloodshot eyes, goofy smile and all. And of course he had to stand, which requires 120% focus and highly developed motor skills. This guy is flailing around, generally just being a nuisance, and nearly tumbles out of the bus when his stop comes. Therefore Rule #2 is incredibly, incredibly necessary.
Also, the drivers are not always a ray of sunshine either.
A few weeks ago, I was running late and saw the bus coming down the street. I couldn't make it to the bus stop in time, so therefore just stood on the side of the road, praying the driver would take pity on my pathetic soul and stop for me, which she did.
Out of breath, I began to thank her, "Thanks, sorry I-"
And this lady interrupts me by saying "Next time I would advise you to wake up earlier."
WHAT?
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| Photo by openclipart.org |
Hold on right there, woman! I just woke up late, had to run around the house like a psycho getting ready, run to attempt to make it to my stop, embarrass myself, and all around just be in a state of panic for half an hour, and you have the audacity to give me ADVICE, which was not really ADVICE at all. I don't need your sass this early in the morning, PAL. (As you can see, I'm a total ray of sunshine in the morning, so everyone else should be, too, right?)
So there are a few reasons why my morning commute is not half as enjoyable as I would like. I'll be accepting vehicle donations all week.
