The Kardashians are Making Me Klaustrophobic

Just like a lot of other people, I love celebrity gossip. In line at the grocery store, I can't help flipping through the magazines with headlines screaming celebrity pregnancies, divorces, drug problems, superpowers, and all that.
A few celebrities I am totally tired of hearing about are the Kardashians.

Don't get me wrong, I've watched their show Keeping Up With The Kardashians a bunch of times, and just between you and I, actually really loved it. The ridiculous drama is a guilty pleasure of mine.

The reason I'm tired of them isn't really their fault, now that I think about it. It's the insane amount of publicity every minor activity they perform receives. And that would be the fault of paparazzi and the like.

I just don't understand some of the articles I've seen. "Kim Goes Shopping" "Kourtney Goes to the Park with Her Son", the list goes on and on. Do people not realize that these are normal, every day tasks? Why is it necessary to report on them with such awe,  like us, the Little People, have never been to a mall before?

I've also realized now more than ever, every one of Kim's decisions receives a flurry of discussions, some that are totally unnecessary. For example, during Kim's pregnancy, I kid you not, I saw copious amounts of articles including multiple variations of the quote "I Just Can't Stop Eating Junk Food!"

....

Wow, what an intense piece of investigative journalism! I'm intrigued!

I assure you, if I was a celebrity and every time I ate something bad for me an article came out, my fans would be buying weekly 500 page novels at the grocery store checkout.

Maybe I'll pull a Chris Crocker :"LEAVE KIM K ALONE!", or better yet, just leave me alone. I have no interest hearing what sandwich Kim ate today because I'll be too busy scarfing a bag of chips or something else that would garner a lot of attention if I was famous for...whatever it is that the Kardashians are famous for.

Just call me Khristina.