Transportation Troubles: The Airplane

I know, I know, it's been a while since I've posted. But before anyone gets too offended, I have some pretty good excuses. I spent a week in Punta Cana, and I am now onto my third week of university, so it's been a pretty exciting month! Some things that I don't find exciting, though, are public modes of transportation. In the past month, I have experienced a couple plane rides, and more trips on the bus then I would like (which is zero), and naturally, I have complaints about them both. In this post, I'm going to focus on my lovely plane riding experience.

Photo by pixabay.com

Before I get into it, let me just say that I am not a particularly good flier. Before I board, I try to pump myself up like, "People go on planes every day, you've got this!" But let's be real, airplanes are just not a good time.

There's the total lack of space. While I believe that I'm meant for a first class life, unfortunately I'm on a mediocre class budget, and therefore get herded onto the plane with the rest of the peasants. This is an issue, because I have a case of self-diagnosed Restless Leg Syndrome. I am literally always tapping my feet or bumping my knees up and down, and that is just not conducive to the airplane experience. There is no room for my crazy legs to fly around and this makes me incredibly (you guessed it) restless. While doing my Irish dance steps/ restless leg fidgeting, I keep accidentally kicking the back of the person's chair in front of me, leading me to forever be bracing for them to turn around and rip one of my restless legs right off.

Comfy.
Photo by pixabay.com

Next is the back of the chair. The airline graciously gives you one of two options. Bolt upright- your body literally at a 90 degree angle, your posture rivalling those of soldiers at attention. The second, for your flying comfort, is to put your chair back about half a millimetre to 88.5 degrees, which will undoubtedly make you feel like your lying on a cloud while soaring through the clouds. It never seems like much when you lean back yourself, but God forbid the person in front of you leans back, because then it pretty much feels like their head is in your lap.

The food is one of my personal favourites. On my flight, I was lucky enough to be served breakfast. It was an egg/omelette type of substance, or so they told me, in a prepackaged container with the label "Expiry Date: August 2014". This might just be me, but I'm pretty sure eggs are not supposed to remain edible for one year. A label like that must be questioned.

Lastly, the safety precaution video at the beginning of the flight. For an anxious flier like myself, this is just what a need to make me feel safe and prepared. A ten minute video highlighting literally every possible horrific outcome of the flight I'm out to take off on. "Oxygen masks are above, life jackets below, suits of armor to your right..."
The animated characters to go along with the video are even better. They demonstrate how to put on these masks and life jackets and suits of armor with such a serene look upon their face. "The plane's nose-diving? It's cool dude, we've got lifejackets and this fun emergency exit slide to use, nothing to stress about. Let's exit in an orderly fashion." Not a care in the world.
I'm just saying, in the event of some sort of crazy emergency,  you won't be seeing me doing much of anything in a sane fashion, let alone an orderly one. I'd probably be pushing children and the elderly out of my way to get to the nearest exit, yelling "ADIOS AMIGOS" and hightailing it out of there.

In the end, thankfully, I made it to Punta Cana safe and sound, and boy was it beautiful. Worth every moment of my restless, artificial egg eating plane ride with my plane-neighbour's head in my lap.